Tag: personal-growth

Tom Phillips, The Natural God (Lulu.Com 2007)

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/14903312-the-natural-god?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=4m5uLTXwHn&rank=1

Science and religion fight it out in this innovative 5 star-plus techno-thriller

Jesse Jamison gets a place in the National Honor Society. Previously home schooled, she feels alienated from the rest in this small-town Texas high school and thinks they’re all ‘imbeciles’. She hopes she won’t suffer a seizure, to which she is occasionally prone—gorgeously described as ‘screaming so hard that she can feel pieces of her lungs fly out of her body’.
She helps her father Richard launch his virtual reality CAVE (Cavernous Automated Virtual Environment). She has volunteered to be the ‘traveller’ into the virtual reality of the cellular environment, simulating a helper T cell.
Jesse believes that if a god exists, he must be a ‘Natural God’. She clashes with classmate Angela, a ‘pro-life’ Christian. Her classmates expound their religious beliefs to her, and to some degree, Jesse climbs down from her high horse.
The US military wants Richard’s CAVE technology. Jesse’s mother Marti has some strange genetic disease. Her doctor says, ‘perhaps you should pray’. So, she does.
The science versus religion competition ‘to explain the ultimate nature of the universe’ is played out in Jesse’s science project, a demonstration of the double-slit quantum theory conundrum. How can a single photon be demonstrating interference? That photon, she says, is communicating with ‘multiple universes’. Angela’s project of fossil-containing rocks, she says, demonstrates ‘intelligent design’, refuting Darwin and winning the competition.
We learn about virtual reality technology, gene therapy, religious and atheistic ideas and the science of genetic diseases and cellular composition. The visual description of the cellular environment is remarkable. Having Jesse’s parents each represent a different field is an effective technique, giving us a well-rounded picture of the science.
This novel is something different, filled with ideology, largely expressed through interactions between characters—mainly Jesse’s classmates—and science, through her parents’ lectures. This provides enough action to make it exciting, while fully exploring the science and the ideological debates. The kids’ fight in the cafeteria is both inspired and exciting.
I received an ARC from the author.

Judalon de Bornay, Great Crossing (Kindle 2021)

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58669818-great-crossing?ref=nav_sb_ss_1_21

6 stars

Richard Mentor Johnson, 9th vice-president of the US under Martin Van Buren, looks back on his childhood in Great Crossing, Kentucky—his parents and many siblings, the society they moved in, and their relations with their slaves. Richard’s partner, Julia Chinn, an octoroon (one-eighth African), is one of these, and she becomes not only his mistress but, though prohibited by racist law from marrying, treated as his wife. Julia’s mother Henrietta is cook for the Johnsons, and Julia is his mother’s maid.
We follow Richard through a failed engagement—to a seamstress, just not high enough status for Richard’s mother Jemima—and we experience the contradictions of the inter-relations between slaves and masters of the time. Julia’s skin is fairer than that of the Johnson siblings, yet she is not free. As his brothers become colonels and generals and his sisters marry well, he’s off to Washington as a Congressman, leaving Julia to pine. He plans to take her to Washington with him and pass her as white. He backs Jefferson; he argues for war with England. He fights the Shawnee and kills Tecumseh, but he champions education for Indians.
We also follow the life of Julia. She watches her mother die, and it gives her a desire to be a healer, fostering a closeness with Dr Theobald. Miz Jemima dotes on her, and the sisters are jealous. She fends off advances from Richard’s brothers and their friends. Richard elopes with her, then has the audacity to try to seat her with the family at church. He tries to make his plantation at Blue Spring a haven for their love, but their marriage causes a huge ripple in the Johnson family and threatens his political career. Miz Jemima won’t speak to her. But Julia bears up with fortitude. She waits, without him, to manage a resentful staff at Blue Spring while he’s in Washington, suffering pregnancies, miscarriages and the birth of two daughters.
Their daughters are raised as free, are educated, and marry white men; however, the law disinherits them on grounds of their ‘illegitimacy’.
I wish I could give this book at least 6 stars. This is fictionalised biography worthy of Hilary Mantel. The writing is absolutely superb, and the style is in keeping with early 19th century, which is important to me. I can’t help but love a writer who uses the word ‘passel’. It’s tightly edited, and there are no wasted words; every one is a jewel. The characterisation is gorgeous. The little details of everyday life—the newness and fragility of the American political system, the feuds and duels between the Founding Fathers, the precariousness of life during warfare, the tremendous ordeal of childbirth—fully transport you into the period.
It was additionally fun for me reading this book as one of Richard’s sisters-in-law, Verlinda Clagett Offutt, was my 3rd cousin 4x removed.

Maria Conyers, Sugar upon my Lemons (The Conrad Press 2025)

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/227779721-sugar-upon-my-lemons

A no-warts biography and love story, inspirational for the bereaved or anyone with a dying loved one
The prologue begins as Great Britain has suffered 40,000 deaths, including that of the narrator’s beloved, Parker. Psychotherapist Maria remembers the life she had with her wonderful husband before his sad end, though not from Covid, from cancer. It was all the sadder for the family as lockdown restrictions limited their ability to see each other during the final days; they weren’t even allowed to hug each other at the funeral.
I must stipulate, I have never read a ‘romance novel’, and I can’t imagine wanting to do so, nor do I read ‘biographies’ unless they’re about some famous person in history, and they’re more interesting if they’re warts-and-all. For me, a love story isn’t interesting unless it is set against a dramatic transition period in history or explores some aberrant psychology.
I love the title, and found it à propos, and the text is well written, though I found a few grammar mistakes. The memoir is a chronological account of their relationship, which is first tested by Maria becoming wheelchair-bound and then by Parker’s diagnosis of cancer. It is told as straight narration. Year 1, Parker and I did this. Year 2, we did that.
Some scenes were interesting enough to have been built into whole scenes. Keen to hide their love affair at first from their children, they inventing fictitious friends to tell them they are visiting, until his daughter discovers a skimpy undergarment. We need some dialogue, here. We need to experience the ‘gotcha’ moment. A family car journey that culminates with Parker backing the car all the way down a mountain road, with a child in the backseat suffering from motion sickness–that could have been a great scene. Instead, she tells it as just one more time when Parker was so wonderful. Insisting that he take a turn at cooking, the tube from Parker’s chemotherapy starts melting, leaking dangerous chemicals which start flying around the kitchen. What a dramatic anecdote! I’ve never heard of such a thing happening! I felt sure that if this incident had been recounted in a style other than straight narration, it would have been more dramatic.
Parker sounds like a really great guy, and everyone who knew him should definitely have a copy of this memoir. It would also be inspirational and useful for anyone whose loved one is dying or has died. The recounting of Parker’s last days and Maria’s struggle to love and support him through them are extremely moving. The loving care that she and her extended family gave to him during his tragic illness is truly inspiring and should provide a model for anyone faced with a similar challenge. Maria writes that “it is possible to use one’s grief as a catalyst to help others”. She includes, as epilogue, a beautiful and inspirational essay About Grief, which speaks to her experience as a psychotherapist as well as that of losing her husband, and her call for a national bereavement support scheme is well said.

Ian Walford, Lured by the Hoard (The Conrad Press 2021)

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/59752824-lured-by-the-hoard

638 AD. Aelfred and his slave Cadmon are digging. They uncover a rich treasure, the bejewelled war trophies of ancient kings.
Going back in time to the Roman era, Aelfred’s ancestor Eadrich, an Anglian mercenary stationed in York, enjoys a jar of ale with his mate Modig. Eadrich is getting ready to retire, having been granted land in Deira, which he plans to call Woden’s Ford. He means to found a dynasty.
Aelfred is born to Rinc, eighth in succession from Eadrich, and Hilda in Woden’s Ford; 6 months later in Gwynedd Cadmon is born to Abertha and Gerant. Rinc and his Northumbrian raiders attack Gerant’s village, killing him. Abertha, carrying her baby, and other villagers are taken as slaves.
The new house slave suddenly dies, leaving baby Cadmon to Hilda to raise, and Aelfred and Cadmon grow up as if brothers.
Tensions rise as King Edwin plans to marry a Christian princess, and some talk of a Deiran break-away from the Northumbrian alliance. King Edwin issues a decree requiring the land to convert, and Woden’s Ford, at least nominally, complies.
King Cadwallon of Gwynedd, allied with King Penda of Mercia, is planning to attack Northumbria and all the thegns in Deira and Bernicia are warned to be ready. King Edwin decides to hide his treasure in various locations (why would he do that?). The battle goes against them, and Woden’s Ford has to adjust.
Aelfred makes a secret plan, involving the treasure, during which his and Cadmon’s differences have interesting implications for the plot.
Aelfred’s attitude to the new religion and to King Penda seems in places contradictory, but in the end, his approach to Christianity is pivotal to the plot.
Personally, I didn’t like the frequent anachronistic expressions—‘no rest for the wicked’ (origin 15C), etc.—but I understand that the more colloquial modern writing style makes the story more accessible to a younger audience.
The writing style is clear, lively and interesting, and it is perfectly edited.
What a great idea to write a novel based on the Staffordshire Hoard! When viewing mysterious ancient sights and artefacts, who doesn’t think, ‘I wonder what it was like’? Walford paints a lively picture of what might have been.

J. T. Lawrence, The Memory of Water (Pulp Books 2016)

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/30899323-the-memory-of-water?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=Kx0JHfy70b&rank=3

The theme starts out ordinary enough. Hitherto rich and successful writer Slade Harris is now in a slump. With two successful novels under his belt, he’s in an unshakable writer’s block. Publisher and creditors are at the gates. Hitherto successfully promiscuous, he’s beginning to realise that short-lived affairs aren’t bringing him happiness. But there is one woman who seems to matter.
That’s where ordinary stops. We expect him to plan to propose to her. Instead, he plans to murder her.
Such a remedy for writer’s block, if believable, would really require quite an aberrant psychology, and Slade has a childhood tragedy he keeps close to his chest. Plus, he has Mommy issues. Hang on, not really. He only means to use it as the storyline in his novel, an exercise designed to unblock the muse.
From here the plot becomes ever more tangled (no spoilers), and Slade careens into deeper self-examination, finally reaching an epiphany. The conclusion is brilliant, with twists and then twists upon twists, a big surprise.
At various points during the tale, we’re unsure as to whether Slade is really experiencing this, or whether he is imagining it. With some novels, I might consider this a defect, but here, it seems to match the theme. Slade is looking both for a more real experience of his own life and for a fresh, new fictional inspiration for his novel.
There’s anything ordinary about the writing. It’s rich, innovative and full of wry humour. The protagonist keeps likening himself to Jay Gatsby, but I kept being reminded of the wit, word-skill and characters of Tom Wolfe.

David Gee, Lillian and the Italians (The Conrad Press 2021)

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/57874214-lillian-and-the-italians?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=YALtjYrfbn&rank=1

Leaving her strait-laced semi-detached life in Hastings, recently widowed Lillian travels to Venice in search of her estranged son, interior designer, Andrew.
From the railings of vaporettos, she drinks in the glamour of the Grand Canal, the Bridge of Sighs and the Piazza de San Marcos, and tries to ignore the stink. Venice haunts her, remembering the honeymoon she shared here with Andrew’s father, 30-some years ago.
She begins to encounter some of the people of importance in her son’s life, and the puzzle pieces start to fall in place. She learns more about his Jet Setting lifestyle. She learns a secret, which she can’t understand why he never shared with her. Once, she had believed they were close.
She fingers the scant postcards they’d received over the years. What had he been doing in Cortina? What took him to Rome? All left no return address.
Lillian is hosted at the sumptuous villa on the Amalfi Riviera of a handsome Sicilian prince, who has some secrets of his own to reveal. While they wait for news of Andrew, the prince escorts Lillian to Capri by yacht, to Rome by private plane.
Into the mix we add a murder mystery, involving, provocatively, ‘Corsicans’—Andrew is presumably on holiday in Corsica– and Lillian’s anxiety increases. Thence reignites an ancient feud between Corsican and Sicilian criminal clans, and we are left with assorted love children from complicated liaisons.
This is a great tale, beautifully written, featuring loads of local colour and a window into the glamorous, sometimes dysfunctional and sometimes dangerous, lifestyles of those who jet and yacht across the Mediterranean from villa to villa. The characters are interesting, and the pace is good. We hear the story of the prodigal Andrew in dribs and drabs, leaving us ever keen to read the next chapter.
My only slight niggle was that I found the couple in the love story a bit of an unlikely pairing. But, Love is not necessarily rational.

Soulla Christodoulou, The Summer Will Come (Kindle 2018)

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/39325268-the-summer-will-come?ref=nav_sb_ss_1_20

The story starts in 1953 with a blissful portrait of the picture-perfect mountain-side village of Kato Lefkara in southern Cyprus. The villagers are looking forward to a celebration of the coronation of Queen Elizabeth, and 9 year old Elena and the other children will each be given a mug with the queen’s picture on it.
But all is not idyllic. There are scandals—the Principal’s daughter has eloped with someone from another village; her mother is beside herself. And life is hard. Mothers wake before sunrise to wash—in the same stone trough from which the donkeys drink–their children’s clothes for school, hand-me-downs from other village children. No one owns more than two sets of clothes, and the best set is saved for church. Elena spends her summers making lace, like her mother, to sell for export to Europe. The fare is simple—lentils, onions, bread, halloumi, olive oil—sometimes rabbit with onions and bay leaves and bourekia or pastelaki pastries on special occasions.
Elena dreams of England. Her father is in London, and has never sent for them. Yet an aunt living there promises to assist their immigration. Christaki’s father Loizos, also plans their family’s emmigration to England.
This ordinary picture is then punctuated, by ‘troubles’. Enter into the picture, the Cyprus Emergency. There is increased sympathy for Enosis (political union) with Greece, and some in the village, like Christaki, are joining EOKA (the National Organisation of Cypriot Fighters), and even the children are involved. They organise secretive missions to thwart British rule. Others, however, are not sympathetic and, equally secretly, are actively thwarting these missions. Christaki’s father, for one, supports the communist AKEL. Atrocities by British soldiers multiply, and the population becomes polarised along ethnic lines–Turkish-Cypriot and Greek-Cypriot.
The immigration to London is hard for both families, particularly for Elena’s, but there is a happy ending.
The Voice of Elena is very good; we really see a child’s view of playground politics, village goings-on, and we witness the new culture and country of England through Elena’s eyes. The deeper political issues involved in the Cyprus Emergency don’t really come across, which was disappointing for me, because I’m interested in history and politics—I would have loved to read more secret missions and thwarting of missions–but that’s OK, because we’re seeing most of the story through child’s eyes.
There are an awful lot of characters. In a sense, this is realistic, as in a village everyone is in everybody’s business, and everyone is married to somebody’s cousin or best friends with somebody’s brother. But I found it confusing. A third of the way through the book, I went back to page 1 and made a list of characters so I could keep all the relationships straight.
Most of the story is ordinary stuff—what people say, what they eat, where they go, how they celebrate Easter, etc., but for someone wanting to learn about Cypriot culture, this novel is a lovely eye-opener. If you like reading about different cultures and/or if you like family sagas, you will love this novel. If you are a Greek Cypriot you will cherish this novel like a rediscovered lost friend.

Michael Poeltl, The Blind Affect (Skylab Press 2021)

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58404863-the-blind-affect?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=XgpjrAEK9J&rank=1

Jonah, 61, his health failing, looks back on his life. Severn, in therapy, tries to remember those missing years. Both children’s mothers drink, and shirk responsibilities to do so. Fortunately, they both have best friends–Jonah has Morty and Severn has Maribel—and these friendships help them through the hardship.
Always too alone, Jonah had survived birth; his twin brother had not, and his mother is determined never to let him do anything dangerous—or even, really, anything. Finally at 13 Jonah has a friend, another loner, Morty. Jonah tries out for basketball, but the other boys make fun of his body odour, call him ‘Stinky’ and in the locker room shove him into the shower. The doctor says he has Bromhidrosis. In high school, he smokes, drinks and snorts, and he’s been getting into trouble. He’s in and out of rehab.
Jonah is challenged by his therapist to go the cinema, but once there, he witnesses a crazed shooting. He goes on probably the most awkward first date I’ve ever read about, but the girl, June, an exotic dancer, likes him, anyway, and they settle down to a happy life. Right in the midst of Jonah’s happiness, a series of tragedies send Jonah back to his addictions.
Severn is abducted by sex traffickers and locked in a basement. By 15 she’s pregnant by one of the paedophile johns, and suffers a forced abortion. The girls and boys there are given new names, but they etch their real ones into the cement block in the corner, proof that they existed. They rehearse a legend of a girl who once got out. Severn, herself, remains captive for 15 years.
At 31, Severn is expected to manage the others. One day, there’s some kind of incident happening upstairs, and her master, Dominus, wants her to kill them. She refuses, and violence ensues. And so, even her rescue is traumatic. Severn, also, triumphs over her trauma, going to school and qualifying as a social worker, though she has nightmares and still can’t—doesn’t want to– remember the missing years.
Answering his emails, Darnell plans his talk at an upcoming event about his experience growing up in an abusive home. He’s received an email from Severn, whom his charity had helped, wanting to meet him. Here, there is a fantastic twist in the story (no spoilers) as we suddenly understand Darnells’ role in all this.
In the end, the three characters’ stories come together in the most serendipitous way, and Jonah discovers that, far from living a useless life as he had thought, his actions have had a ‘blind affect’ on many people.
Reading about a person with an unusually bad body odour is a first, and I found that interesting, because I know someone like that.
I found a few mistakes in the editing, but the writing is good. I really hope no reader experiences either the abuse, or the parental neglect that so often turns a blind eye to abuse, like the characters in this book. But for anyone with this kind of experience, it might prove educative or cathartic. The tale of these folks’ woes is told with heart and, amazingly, without self-pity. Jonah is a bit of a whinge, but who could blame him? It’s certainly heartening later in the tale when the characters start finding some happiness in their lives. This book should be a lesson to anyone contemplating suicide that, not only can they survive, but their lives can make a difference to others, sometimes without their even trying. There is always purpose.

Michael Poeltl, Cleo McCarthy Time Travel and other Impossible Things (Skylab Press 2024)

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/209991851-cleo-mccarthy-time-travel-and-other-impossible-things?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=fbGjwKrcCk&rank=1

On a bucket-list trip to the Far-east and South Africa, Cleo McCarthy’s plane is about to crash, and her life flashes before her eyes. Her young-onset Parkinson’s has been advancing. Then, she finds she has gone back in time. She remembers being on that plane scheduled for two months in the future. She remembers her Far-east travels.
Her time travel guide Franklin appears to explain to her the rules. At any point in the future she can jump back to this, her Initiation Day, and make different choices. Then that future will be erased. It’s a ‘closed timelike curve’. The plane crash never happens, but you still have the memories.
Her physicist friend Bobby says no, time travels in a straight line. Best friend Trish is also in the know. Then Bobby gets shot in a freak burglary. Cleo jumps again.
There’s a white noise that she can’t identify. It’s an Electronic Voice Phenomenon, Franklin says. Other entities—ghosts?—are using the EVP as a medium. They speak to her, ‘Find usss’ they say.
She wants to find a place where ‘time stands still’ and visits Rome, where she meets fellow traveller Doris. Franklin sends her an EVP machine in Paris. At Père Lachaise, she meets Stephan, who says he has met her there nine times. His time curve is stuck in sadness; he can’t get past the age of 23 without jumping, every time he tries to kill himself.
Chapters often end with a switch to Franklin’s POV, as if he’s taking notes on Cleo’s progress.
For Cleo, constant jumping back might be at least a temporary solution to her Parkinson’s. Along the way, she, Bobby and Franklin ponder the big questions—metaphysics, free will, wormholes, the meaning of past, future, the meaning of life, happiness, love, immortality and the role of human agency.
The science bit is pretty cool, as is the big solution they all come up with, though I confess I didn’t get the ‘save the universe’ part of it. I was unclear as to whether the time travellers can control if and when they jump. And how did Cleo get all that time off work?
I loved the line ‘is that a smile sliding up the right side of her face or a frown dipping to the left?’

Michael Poeltl, Killing Karma (Skylab Press 2022)

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/61073856-killing-karma?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=t9UNAkAi0T&rank=1

Last year, Peter was a witness to and participant in the nightmarish pull-out of US forces from Kandahar in 2021. Now, managing a bookshop in Detroit, he struggles with PTSD, avoiding anything that might provide a trigger. Counselling helps, but not enough. At night, he’s right back there on the tarmac at Kandahar.
One day a woman named Clare orders a book about past lives. She invites him to try regression hypnosis, recommending therapist Theresa.
Peter begins his hypnosis therapy with Theresa. Twice, he’s experienced dissociative fugue, he tells her, a sense of time loss. Theresa immediately senses his pain. ‘Am I going through this for a reason?’ he asks, wringing his hands. Probably misplaced guilt, she thinks.
In trance, he’s an African American boy in Georgia named Martin, about to be hung. He recognises the officer putting a nose around his head. Theresa says Peter is being led to understand those responsible for the trauma causing his PTSD.
Clare walks back in to the shop, and she asks Peter out.
A bitter divorce has led Detective William Harlow to self-harming. He attends a death, an apparent suicide. The preliminary autopsy shows Harlow’s case is a murder.
Peter’s date with Clare is a success, and they return to the subject of past lives.
Theresa goes out for a meal with Nyra, to the same place that Peter and Clare had gone to. They are there on their second date, and Theresa is happy to see romance budding between two of her clients.
A robbery occurs at the book store which Clare and Peter must witness, the shared trauma of which causes problems in their relationship.
Harlow attends another crime scene; a small-time criminal is murdered in the street, his head severed. The body carries a card with a similar message to that accompanying the body in the previous case. Harlow suspects Peter.
Theresa considers her potentially unprofessional feelings about Peter.
Harlow attends a missing person case. A note was left, with the same message. Karma has a Champion. They deserved it. Signed: The Karma Killer. The missing person is Clare. Now, Harlow suspects Peter even more.
After a blow to the head, Clare is abducted. Theresa comforts Peter. Peter tells Harlow he’s been seeing a regression therapist, Theresa Clement; Harlow recognises the surname.
As the perpetrator reveals their hand and Harlow solves the case, we learn that everyone’s fate is a payback for some past life’s crime.
This is two stories—the first, a romance, the progress of which is affected by the couple’s past lives, and the second, a detective story about a serial killer who is motivated by events in past lives. The interconnection between these two elements makes for an excellent plot.
I really love the Concept of crimes being motivated by karma left over from past lives. However, I considered the karmic avenger a basic plot flaw, without a fuller understanding of the killer’s past lives. A karmic vigilante would have worked if they had a stream of different clients they enacted revenge for.