Review: Piso Christ

Roman Piso, Piso Christ (Trafford Publishing 2010)

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/10002273-piso-christ

Tricks with names and numbers, utter poppycock

This book contends that Jesus was invented by (the fictionally invented) Arrius Calpurnius Piso masquerading as Flavius Josephus. The New Testament was not the story of Jesus but rather a satire on the military campaign of Titus. A great historical conspiracy perpetrated by the ruling class in order to hoodwink the rest of us. The author doesn’t reveal his real name out of fear that people will kill him.
Not only was ACP writing under the pseudonym of Flavius Josephus, he was Dio Chrysostom, also Philo, Epictetus and Plutarch—hey, why not Shakespeare in the bargain? He was also the Antonius Primus who killed Vitellius, and Claudius Aristion, Maturus Arrianus, Curtius Montanus and Flavius Archippus. These multiple aliases would have had the man living in Rome, Prusa, Ephesus, Altinum, Athens and Crete all at the same time.
Seneca and Lucius Piso wrote the Gospel of Mark. Arrius Piso’s son Justus was Justin Martyr. Eusebius was really Constantine’s brother, Pliny was really St Paul, Suetonius was Antoninus Pius.
We plebs have had the wool pulled over our eyes for two millennia, as is ‘revealed’ using secret codename aliases and gematria (numerology), which I discount as proving anything sensible. It gets even loonier with discussion of so-called ‘royal language’ (e.g. made-up linguistics like Annius is really Arrius, because they changed the Rs to Ns). Entire chapters are devoted to the supposed dirty double entendres in early Christian writings—e.g. whenever the Gospels said ‘walked’ they really meant ‘have sex’; the ‘seven trumpets’ of Rev. 8:2 is about church leaders farting.
I’ve always wanted to examine the Jesus-never-existed conspiracy theory, and now I have. Utter poppycock.