James Essinger, Rollercoaster (The Conrad Press 2021)
Charles, failed grocer, failed husband, failed housebreaker, out for a walk in Canterbury, sees an enigmatic sign: ‘Past not taken into consideration: Apply to Dr Tortoise, 13 Cathedral Walk.’
For something to do, he applies, and Tortoise hires him, promising £50,000, to travel to Marseilles and kill some Finns, members of a secret organisation, VALTA, who are dedicated to killing Russians. The men are all old, so all he has to do is ‘help them along’ to their deaths.
Rod is hitch-hiking around, looking for, or trying to avoid, ‘slozes’ (women?). He remembers a certain Mexican bead seller on Portobello Rd as a symbol of the freedom to which he aspires.
Rod comes across Charles, dying, who warns him about ‘the Russians at the Gloria Hotel in Düsseldorf’ and something about a ‘laundry chute’. The beautiful woman who shot him, Silja, holds Rod at gunpoint, yet confides in him about their plan to assassinate some visiting Russians at the Düsseldorf Gloria.
Ms Vixen and her boss Mr Fox-Foetus, Head of Security at the Gloria Hotel in London, are enjoying a workplace liaison, when they receive a tip that the Düsseldorf Gloria is expecting a ‘terrorist threat’. They descend on West Germany intent on making the country, or at least the hotel, safe for the master race. Rod manages to get there just in time to save the Russians and the girl.
The plot is rollicking, and the characters amusing. The writing is good, here and there offering some exceptionally witty lines. The Vixen/Fox-Foetus relationship is particularly hilarious. There were some plot points where I wondered—Is this funny? Or is it disconcerting?—such as Charles and Vixen, both quite main characters, suddenly being bumped off early in the story. I expected the Charles, Rod, Vixen/Fox and Silja plotlines to come together in Düsseldorf in some huge comedy of errors, but it was still quite funny.
Some slang words I’m not familiar with: sloz, cream, tender, but I discovered there is a helpful glossary at the back.
I really enjoyed this book and found it’s billing as ‘a 1970s comedy thriller for the 21st century’ to be spot-on.
Susie Helme 
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